Whether I’m trying to extrude all of Western Philosophy into succinct scatological statements or auction off a Picasso in the MOMA lobby or win the hearts and minds of America with Internet hijinx, I’ve always got a few projects going.

And whether you’ve come to catch up (Hey, Andrew, what are you up to these days?), reminisce (Ah, those were the days), or just commune with a fellow procrastinator (I’ll get around to it some day), here they all are.